What happens when you are already “unleashed”? When traditional self-help advice seems elementary, it could be time to move yourself to the next level of personal growth, your OWN way.
But what will serve you next on your path? Should you start mapping your natal chart? Chanting Kirtan? Making crystal grids? If all of this stuff is leaving you wanting, it’s time to leave the traditional trail of wellness solutions and look inwards.
Take a little-mentioned approach – Practice personal growth by not practicing it. The relentless journey to improve ourselves can feel punishing and is a way our inner judge can keep us feeling less-than, not worthy of just being a human. That’s why it is SO important to build in moments (or months) of reflection along the way, where we pause our personal growth plans and stop focusing on ourselves for a bit.
BUT DANIKA, WON’T THIS MAKE ME LAZY AND COMPLACENT???
Nope. Nada. No way. You’ve been tricked into thinking this next book you read, this next course, this next practice to take up will somehow give you the thing you’ve been searching for – and that’s just plain wrong. You will find what you are searching for by resting, contemplating, getting clear, and making decisions from the heart.
Here’s how to apply this in your life: Set a time limit where you will stop improving yourself or embark on new projects. A day, a month, a week. Then free up more time to just do nothing – to think, to take walks, be with friends, enjoy the weather. Read a book or watch a movie that you might classify as a “guilty pleasure”, something you do just for fun. Take a weekend to get away, and don’t bring your self-help books (I am so guilty of this :()
It takes time.
Your next level of personal growth will come, but not before you take some real time to integrate, rest, and breathe. Life is not a competition to see who can be more woke than who. If your ego is driving you, it may feel that way. Resting will not make you lazy, try it for yourself, and see what you find.
The Shortcut to Next Level Personal Growth
Choosing to work on your self-compassion is an incredible way to grow your world. People don’t focus on that mean, hard little voice inside themselves because we have accepted our inner gremlin as part of us – “the part that motivates me!” I call bull on that self-motivation tactic. If we are super mean to ourselves because we can’t live up to our ever-changing standards of perfection, how are we ever going to enjoy our lives?
The truth is, we won’t. Focusing on my own self-love and self-compassion this year has been fucking hard. I haven’t met anything harder than looking at myself in the mirror, and truly loving, accepting, and appreciating myself just as I am. If you want to perform miracles in your life and get to that shiny “next level” of growth, it’s time to look at yourself and truly appreciate yourself.
Here is how you start. Try positive self-talk instead of constantly beating yourself up: Say “I love you” to yourself in the mirror until you believe it. This is WAY harder than it sounds, I ask my clients to do it, and get the most profound, beautiful, delicate breakthroughs from them. Nobody has ever asked them to truly look, and love, without judgment. If you want to learn more, check out some great resources here, and here. (ooh, and here.)
It’s free, and you can try it now. I dare you to take a long look in the mirror and stop focusing on your imperfections, smile a wide smile and say “I love you endlessly and without conditions.” YUM.
If you really want to accelerate your personal growth and development, do something outside of your comfort zone. Have a friend pick an area of focus for you, or choose something that will make you bust out of your normal way of doing things. If you choose an unconventional activity, or better yet, have one chosen for you, there are new opportunities to learn from a disorienting experience. Choose something that makes you feel fear!
And once you’ve tried the wind tunnel, horseback riding, sailing, knife throwing or escape gaming, make sure to reflect on the experience. What did you like about it? What was difficult? What was thrilling? Bust yourself out of a personal growth rut by throwing caution to the wind and trying personal development activities you have never done before. Do you feel your zone of growth expanding as we speak?? Here are some ideas to get you started.
Forget personal growth, you are perfect.
Paradoxically, believing that you are whole now is part of the healing journey. You can be BOTH growing and changing, as well as accepting yourself for who you are now. Neat, right?
When you can just BE with yourself, without needing to fix or change anything, then you have reached the next stage of your evolution. Life is about being present in every moment, not anticipating some new stage of personal evolution that will magically make everything right in your life. Focus on what’s right, now. That is evolution.
Life Design: 101
Design what’s next for your life from the ground up is no easy task. Your personal growth plan does not look like anyone else’s – why should it?? You are in charge of both when to up-level your personal growth and when to rest. Take charge of that process by practicing any one of these self-improvement techniques I’ve mentioned. The tips I’ve mentioned can help you create personal growth, but what if your whole life needs an overhaul?
Then join me on July 20th at Noon EST and learn to Design a Life you LOVE. One of the things I will be talking about in this live 30 minute online masterclass is how to stop worrying about what others think, and let go of expectations of what your life “should” look like, and how to design the way you live according to YOUR rules, not anybody else’s. It’s free to attend and if you can’t get there live, a replay will be available. Click here to sign up!